


Love is the Fate of Fools

by nerdlife4eva



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken timeline, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Post Season 8, Rescue Missions, Soft Lotor (Voltron), Sort Of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-10-13 03:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17480690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdlife4eva/pseuds/nerdlife4eva
Summary: Nothing in Keith's life feels right. His friends are separated, his best friend married someone else, and even his relationship with his mother feels strained.When nightmares start bleeding from sleep into his everyday life, Keith knows that answers lie somewhere else.Although he has no idea what or who is calling to him, he is willing to risk it all to find out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sagesins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagesins/gifts).



> This is a birthday fic requested for [SageSins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagesins/pseuds/sagesins) by your friend [cherryburlesque](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryburlesque/pseuds/cherryburlesque)! This was a request for a Keith/Lotor fic to celebrate your birthday :) I hope you enjoy what I came up with and have had a wonderful birthday! (Also, they are both writers, so please click on the links to check out their Ao3's!) 
> 
> If you want to locate me, please find me on Tumblr or Twitter!  
> [NeRdLife4Eva Twitter](https://twitter.com/NeRdLife4Eva)  
> [n3rdlif343va Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/n3rdlif343va)

Darkness strangled Keith, seeping into his skin and dragging him forward into vastly open space. Cold curled underneath his suit, freezing the blood in his veins and making every breath impossible to catch. His eyes were straining to see in the emptiness, fear rising to claw at his throat. Direction was irrelevant, right-side up or upside down, death was coming for him and Keith was useless to stop it. Feeling the burn of his claws growing, Keith scratched at the tendrils wrapping tightly around his neck.

_“Helppppp meee…”_

Flailing, Keith tried to locate the source of the desperate plea, his eyes bulging as he searched for any movement in the overwhelming black. The words floated around him, stinging his skin as if they were crafted from shattered glass instead of a disembodied voice. Choking on his own panic, Keith thrashed against the hold around him, croaking out a stammering attempt at a response.

Then he was falling, his body limp and devoid of bones, careening through the void. With a dull thud he landed on his back, shock surging through him.

Throwing his eyes open, Keith found himself lying on the ground in his own quarters, staring at his darkened ceiling with sweat beads streaking down his face. Wiping a hand over his cheek, Keith realized that tears ran in tandem lines with his perspiration. Succumbing to the demanding sobs forcing their way out of his chest, Keith curled on his side, willing the lingering ghosts of his nightmares away.

Three weeks of the same nightmare had Keith’s sanity fraying on the edges, his nerves frazzled and raw even during the daylight hours. His mother had taken to eying him with concern every time they were in the same place and in turn, Keith had decidedly started to avoid her.

In fact, Keith was stubbornly avoiding everyone who would have been willing to help him.

The overturned data pad on his night stand had been turned off for a week, after the amount of unread messages had eclipsed the one thousand mark. Every communication had been made with the intention of love and support and Keith had pointedly ignored them all. None of them were from the person he needed the most, and therefore none of them mattered.  

Lying in the cold isolation of his bedroom, Keith wrapped his arms around his stomach, praying that he could press hard enough to suppress the need to purge its meager contents. No one needed to see him like this and the smaller, darker part of Keith’s brain told him they wouldn’t want to. They wanted Keith to be the leader he was supposed to be, only Keith no longer had it in him.

A nudge at the back of his head made him sigh. He closed his eyes in anticipation of the bright flash of light, unsurprised when the hardness of the ground was replaced with the firmness of his mattress. Unable to voice his gratitude, Keith lifted one arm to accept his wolf into his hold, pressing his face into the soft fur and relaxing into the wolf’s warm body. There was nowhere in the universe that Keith felt safe anymore, but feeling the wolf breathing steadily under his arm made him think that maybe he could steal a bit of comfort from this moment.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Keith let the tears continue to fall as he prayed that the nightmares would leave him alone for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

Sunlight bore into the back of Keith’s neck, making his skin prickle as he bent to hand over the rations to the tiny aliens with thankful smiles. This was work he could throw himself into, helping planets in need to rebuild and fortify their populations with necessary supplies. Packing and hauling crates gave him a reason to exhaust his body and interacting with the natives in their own languages kept his mind sharply on task. There was no wandering thoughts or idle limbs when the Blades were working to rebuild the damage caused by the Galra and Keith told himself that he was throwing himself into the work because it was important and exactly where he was needed.

He refused to acknowledge, even to himself, why he was unable to stay in one place for any length of time.

Feeling eyes following him, Keith straightened up from his stance and resignedly met his mother’s gaze. She had been watching him more closely since her return to the main ship with Kolivan and Keith knew that questions were going to come eventually. In an effort to avoid the inevitable confrontation, Keith changed his path through the throngs of aliens, losing himself in the push and pull of their demands.

Hiding was a skill Keith had honed and he planned to use every ounce of his experience to avoid his mother’s inquiries about his well-being. Keith had learned from the best when it came to stealth and although his mother probably didn’t deserve his defiance, Keith wouldn’t allow himself to dwell on it. Getting absorbed into the crowd, Keith drifted inconspicuously away from his mother’s presence, telling himself it didn’t matter.

Like everyone else, she would soon forget him and then he would be alone again. Understanding this was his fate, Keith gripped his crate tighter and turned his mind to the work at hand.

* * *

 

Seven days passed in a blur of sleepless nights and tiring days. Keith’s body and mind were functioning under a sledge of pure exhaustion, making him notably irritable even to the newest members of their organization. An offhand comment about Keith needing a vacation lead to him slamming a new recruit to the ground and his mother grabbing him by the arms to haul him from the conference room.

Struggling against Krolia was useless once she was determined to keep control of him, so Keith went deadweight, purposely increasing her difficulty in carrying him. Krolia’s mutterings about Keith resembling his toddler-size self almost made him smile through his haze of frustration, but before he could process the emotion, he was being thrown into a chair.

Above him Krolia stood with her hands on her hips, Kolivan presenting a united front by standing close to her right hip.

At one time, Keith had been happy for them. Finding someone to love in the midst of war and rebuilding was a success in itself and Keith had been proud of Krolia for giving her heart a second chance.

Now, the sight did nothing more than make the vile sickness in his stomach churn.

“Keith, what has gotten into you?” Krolia’s voice was firm tinted with the edge of worry.

Keith flinched, remembering a time when she had called him kit and would have sought him out in private instead of publicly humiliating him. “Nothing,” he mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with her and reliving his teenage version of rueful sulking as he glared at the ground. She was only asking because he had made a newbie scared, it wasn’t like she really wanted to know what was wrong with him. No one did.

Hands curled around his wrists pulling Keith forward from his slouch. From her place at his feet, Krolia gazed at him, studying his face as if his eyes would reveal answers that his stubbornness wouldn’t. “You aren’t sleeping. You aren’t talking to your friends. You are assaulting other Blades and avoiding me. You can glare daggers into the ground all you want, but you will talk to me. Otherwise, you’ll be grounded from all missions until you get your head on straight.”

“You can’t do that,” Keith growled, the force behind it was weak as his shoulders slumped. The calloused pads of his mother’s fingers rubbed over his knuckles and for a moment Keith felt a split ripping through his carefully crafted defenses. “You aren’t in charge of me,” he added meekly, hearing how pathetically juvenile the statement sounded.

“I’m not, but I love you. And I’m worried.” Tugging sharply, Krolia pulled Keith into her chest, wrapping her arms around his stiff back.

The cracks in his walls of self-hate spread like the threads of a spider web. Crumpling, Keith let his mother hold him as he held back the need to sob. Words didn’t exist to explain any of what was going on, so instead Keith let himself cling to his mom, head buried on her shoulder like the toddler she had claimed him to be.

“Tell me, Keith, please…” Krolia held the back of Keith’s head. “Is it Shir-”

“Don’t say his name,” Keith snarled, feeling the dam break inside of him. All of the emotions he had been boxing away for months were spilling out and Keith felt weak with the overwhelming flood inside of him. “It’s not… It’s…” Hiccups interrupted Keith’s words as he tried to calm himself, pushing hard against the tears threatening to spill. “I’ve been having nightmares… someone is calling out to me… I think… I think…” Sitting back in his chair, Keith bit his lip. “I think it’s Allura.”

Silence fell in the room, Krolia’s brows furrowing and Kolivan falling into a deep scowl. Neither of them responded to Keith’s admission, although they both leveled concentrated looks in his direction. “Hearing voices is not a good sign.” It was Kolivan who broke the quiet, arms dropping from where they were crossed over his chest. “Are you hearing them only when asleep? Perhaps your defenses are too low.”

“No.” Closing his eyes, Keith clenched his jaw. He had already put the information out there, so trying to pretend it was a lie would be a struggle not worthy of his time. “It started… as nightmares… but now… sometimes I hear it… faintly… calling to me. If I focus on it, sometimes I can almost feel where it is calling me to.” Hearing his thoughts out loud made his heart hammer unsteadily in his chest. Maybe it was Allura. Maybe she was trapped somewhere, not dead like everyone believed her to be. Sitting up suddenly, Keith knocked his mom backwards, barely noticing when Kolivan scooped her from the ground. “I have to go.”

“Keith!” Krolia and Kolivan shouted at once, blocking his way out of the door. “You cannot just run off into space chasing voices. There needs to be a plan, you need a ship, you need…” Krolia let her hands drop when it appeared that Keith wasn’t going to barrel through them.

“You aren’t going to stop me?” Keith had prepared for a fight, his hand already behind his back and fingers wrapped around the blade he shared with his mother. Feral in his thoughts, Keith barely relinquished his hold on the hilt. Seeing the anxious glances between his mother and Kolivan, shame enveloped him over what he might have done.

“Stop you, no. Prepare you… yes.” Tentatively, Krolia reached for him again, curling her fingers around Keith’s wrist. “You’re lost, Kit, and if figuring out the source of this pain will help you find your way, we won’t stop you. But let us at least help you be safe.”

Feeling the fight bleed from his tired shoulders, Keith relaxed his stance. “Alright… okay… prepare, strategize, execute.” Another mantra echoed through Keith’s mind and he heard his jaw grind as he shoved the thought away. “When can we start?” Looking hopefully between Krolia and Kolivan, Keith waited for their answer.

“Right now,” Kolivan confirmed with a nod, hand coming up to unlock the door. Silently Kolivan led them from the room toward the bridge of the ship and for the first time since Keith had last left Earth, he felt the tingle of hope inside of him.

* * *

 

Standing on the loading dock, Keith wondered why he hadn’t considered going to Kolivan earlier. Within four hours of his decision to leave, Keith was watching his ship being loaded with supplies as Kolivan barked orders to the Blades around them. Preparations hadn’t been nearly the ordeal Keith had expected and a dark part of him figured Kolivan just wanted to be rid of him.

“Keith.”

Turning around, Keith found himself staring up into his mother’s eyes. For the first time he noticed how tired she looked and he briefly wondered if he had worried her more than he realized. Placing that thought in a mental box and shoving it to the storage in the back of his mind, Keith raised his eyebrow at Krolia.

“Promise me, you’ll be careful.” What she wasn’t saying was that she worried Keith would hurl himself into space without the intention to return. The words didn’t need to be spoken, Keith heard them clearly. “Reach out if you need us. I will come running. I promise.”

Not waiting for a response, Keith threw himself into Krolia’s arms. He wouldn’t promise her that he would come back because he had vowed long ago not to lie to her. His nightmares were terrifying, but his reality was unbearable, and the temptation to escape and never return growled like a beast in his torn soul.

Stepping out of Krolia’s arms, Keith nodded once. As he turned, he heard her whisper “I love you,” but the knot in his throat prevented him from saying it back. Once, he had blindly believed those words, back when he had believed in love and the strength it held. In a world where Keith had lost his dearest source of that emotion, he no longer put value in its validity.

Avoiding the curious looks from the Blades working on the bridge, Keith gave a curt nod to Kolivan and boarded his ship.

The stars had once held adventure beyond Keith’s wildest dreams, legends and stories where he fit as an important chapter. While space no longer held the fantastical appeal Keith craved in his youth, he hoped that it could still give him answers that his heart was desperately seeking.

Without a final glance back at those he was leaving behind, Keith curled his fingers around the controls. He felt Kosmo’s presence in his mind and told his wolf to stay. Feeling the hurt Kosmo was experiencing, Keith shut his eyes and threw Kosmo out of his thoughts.

The rumbling of the dock door brought Keith back to reality and he opened his eyes to focus on his escape. Gritting his teeth, Keith shoved his controls forward and launched himself into the unknown.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You...

Coordinates blinked on Keith’s screen, the final destination point only a few clicks ahead of him. Although he had been the one to program them, he wasn’t exactly sure why he had chosen this location. Every minute traveled, every planet left behind increased the pull in the back of his mind but his stomach remained unsure. Acting blindly and relying on his instincts alone was Keith’s most trusted answer to any obstacle, yet this time, he could feel doubt hanging over him like a threatening storm cloud.

When the dark mass of a small planet came into view, Keith’s hands fell from the controls.

“No… what…” Questions banged into each other and made his mind a jumbled mess of confusion. Although the planet looked unassuming from a distance, there was brightness shining from behind it that left Keith with a deep pit of dread in his stomach.

The power of the quintessence was unmistakable, a feeling of overwhelming temptation and guiding force that called to Keith’s soul. Even though he couldn’t see it, the resonance of its allure was there, pulling at his mind and begging him to come closer.

He had seen the way quintessence could fuel both good and evil and he knew that his connection to it was still the greatest unknown in his life. Even during their battle with Lotor, Keith had felt the surges racing through him, but he had kept it a secret in fear of isolating himself from his team. Quintessence and understanding it had been Allura’s role and Keith was happy to ignore all of the unanswered ponderings he had about his own connections.

Except now no one was around to stop him from wondering. No one could tell him that it wasn’t safe to approach the unknown planet or convince him that it was a bad idea. Alone, Keith had no one to stop him from exploring his mystery.

Going in unprepared was out of the question. No matter how strong the whispers were becoming, no matter how much Keith wanted to go plunging to the surface to discover what had called him, he understood the potential consequences to that decision. His wasn’t sure his ship could survive the exposure and therefore he would need to land it at a safe distance. Distantly, he wished that Pidge or Coran were around to help analyze the planet’s atmosphere.

Unhelpfully, his brain reminded him that while he was lost and wandering around space searching for the source of a disembodied voice, both Pidge and Coran had found their happiness somewhere else and would have no desire to be tangled in Keith’s current predicament. At one time maybe they would have thought of it as an adventure, but now… Keith stopped his spiraling thoughts before they could grow more sinister.

Stubbornly, he moved closer to the darkest part of the planet, falling forward when a screech ripped through his mind.

Hand on his chest, Keith’s eyes went wide, his mind flooded with that familiar timber of the wounded call. Though strangled and in pain, it remained regal and imploring. Gasping, Keith forced himself to sit back in the pilot seat and close his eyes. “I’m coming, Allura, I’m coming,” he whispered, praying she could hear him.

Swallowing hard against the knot in his throat, Keith maneuvered his ship through the hazy atmosphere around him. Faintly, he thought about how much easier this would be if the Blades ship was with him or even the Atlas. Stomach turning at the latter portion of his thought, Keith shook his head. He could figure it out on his own.

Breaking through the final layer, his ship shook violently in a similar way he could remember smaller ships reacting to Earth’s atmosphere. Keith leaned forward to start the ship’s system to analyze the air and terrain. It wasn’t as advanced as anything Pidge or Hunk had developed, but Keith hoped it would provide accurate information anyway.

Eyes scanning the ground below him, Keith hovered carefully waiting for the analysis to complete. It wouldn’t have been the first time that a planet looked solid only for a ship to land and immediately begin to sink. When there were other ships to help rescue the stranded vessel it was merely entertaining and fodder for later teasing, but alone it would surely be the death of him.

Unable to control his own impatience, Keith swung the ship around and begin to move toward the shining glow. Relief flooded through him when his mind remained quiet, although the familiar feeling of _knowing_ was filling his chest with uncomfortable pressure. The lions had called to him once and it seemed something else was begging for his attention now.

Beeps from his console made Keith pause in his quest, his eyes blinking wildly when he realized how fast he was traveling. His body had been moving on autopilot and the knowledge that he wasn’t completely in control made his stomach roll. Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to calm himself by flicking through the information on his screen.

Frowning, Keith enlarged the results of the planet’s surface analysis. Rock he had never heard of and a metal that he had only heard Kolivan discuss in theory. The surface was deemed solid though and Keith took that as the only good news he was going to receive. The levels of chemicals and toxins he couldn’t pronounce made the air unbreathable without the filter of his mask and Keith made a mental note to thoroughly secure it before he stepped out of his ship.

Because there was no way he wasn’t stepping out of his ship.

A voice, sounding remarkably like his mother, asked him why he was doing this, why he was so determined to search out a call from an entity that could merely be his imagination or worse, an enemy. She had never asked him these questions before he left and hearing his own subconscious produce them now made Keith’s heart ache. Every emotion inside of him felt like scattered pieces of an unsolvable puzzle.

Growling at the confusion in his own mind, Keith guided his ship toward the flattest portion of the ground that he could locate. A small bump brought him resting at the planet’s surface as his heartbeat began to thunder in his ears.

The voice was replaced by waves of vibration, swimming through his mind and drawing him out to the surface. His feet were steady as he hit the ground, commanding the ramp to close to seal his ship from the potential hazards of the air around it. Moving in a barely conscious daze, Keith let himself be drawn toward the edge of a large crater.

His senses rushed backed to him as his eyes came to rest on the twisting tendrils of light, crawling from deep within the planet and breaking over the crater's surface. Crouching, Keith steadied himself with one hand on the ground, eyes never leaving the enticing globe.

It was nothing like Keith had seen before. Strange sights were nothing new, but this field of light shone with a lifelike quality all its own. Despite its appearance of existing within the planet itself, further inspection revealed that it was merely nestled inside of the crater and not a part of it.

Another scream tore through Keith’s mind, bringing him to his feet with a startled jump. Ears ringing, he spun around, searching for a source. As far as he could tell, the planet was barren and he knew before he was conscious of it that the calls for help were coming from inside of the crater. Pushing down the rising fear inside of him, Keith took a step closer to the edge.

A cautious voice, forcibly forgotten and unheard for longer than Keith wanted to acknowledge, told him to be patient. The memory made Keith’s breath catch on the start of a sob, his chest collapsing and rolling his shoulders forward. It was the voice that had guided him and reassured him through the most important years of his life and yet it was the voice of a stranger. Determinedly ignoring the ghost of his past, Keith braced himself and jumped.

Whatever he was expecting, it was not to land on the feeling of solid ground. His body hung in open space, white clouds swirling around him in a dizzying movement. Whispers flew past him, causing him to spin in an useless effort to catch the words within them.

Images assaulted his eyes, flashes that weren’t memories but weren’t unrecognizable. His own reflection moved within all of them, together with the man that he had so desperately tried to leave behind. Overwhelmed, Keith stumbled backwards, stuttered breaths filling the space behind his mask as he tried to run from the sea of possibilities. In his chest, his heart splintered.

“Don’t leave me…”

Spinning on his heel, Keith whirled toward the words that were more solid and present than the floating wisps. Crumpled on the ground was a figured dressed in deep purple and blue, silver hair spilling over the face of a person he never expected to see again. Frozen, Keith fought between his instinct to attack and his desire to rescue.

“Please…” A hand reached forward, outstretched over the invisible ground that kept them both suspended inside of the quintessence. The fingers were long and elegant, but curled in obvious pain. “Please…” the figure begged again, this time its weakness broke through the fight tumbling through Keith.

Taking a tentative step forward, Keith tried to reconcile all of his hopes with the reality in front of him. “I thought you were… but…” At some point he had let himself be convinced that it was Allura calling out to him, that he would find her among the stars and that she would be the answer to everything wrong in his world. Discovering his hope to be unfounded, Keith felt his splintered heart shatter.

“You were dead.” The thought was disconnected from everything else Keith was thinking. Drawn forward, Keith moved cautiously, refusing to put himself into direct reach of the hand stretching toward him.

Painfully, Lotor lifted his head, his hair falling over his face. There was no longer enough strength within him to push it aside and he stared through straining eyes at the hooded face of his savior. “I will explain… Just… please… get me…” A shudder shook Lotor’s entire body and he screamed with the pain tearing at his limbs. He had endured so much time within the trap of the quintessence, but he could feel his life force draining. With the last of his resistance, Lotor raised his head and begged one more time. “I can’t hurt you… please… save me…” Darkness overwhelmed him as he fell forward, finally losing the war his body had been gallantly fighting.

Catching Lotor’s shoulders, Keith hefted Lotor’s body into his arms. The man who had once appeared so strong was nothing but a ragdoll in Keith’s hold. Life was draining from Lotor’s face, leaving his beautiful features withdrawn and pale. “I don’t know how to get out,” Keith panicked, shaking Lotor as he shouted. “How am I supposed to save you if we can’t get out?” Frantically looking for an idea, Keith’s eyes went wide at the images dancing around them.

Instead of Shiro by his side, Keith saw Lotor. Together, they stood proud, overlooking a cheering crowd of mixed alien races. Another image showed them both in Blades uniforms, fighting beside each other against a very much alive Sendak. Alarmed, Keith shut his eyes when a third image caught his attention.

The air around him began to shimmer, the quakes causing lights to flash behind Keith’s eyes and make him feel light-headed. The feeling was reminiscent of Voltron’s battle with Sincline and Keith nearly dropped Lotor with the memory.

Another memory, this time of Allura, flooded Keith’s mind.

Forcing his eyes open, Keith ran toward the curved line of the quintessence, arms curling tighter around Lotor and refusing to let him go even as resistance increased around them. Whatever power was holding this sphere of quintessence together did not want them to leave and it bore down on Keith’s shoulders while lashing out at his legs. Fighting against the pull and the pain it was causing inside of him, Keith roared as he threw their bodies upward.

They hit the ground in a rolling heap, Keith barely clinging to Lotor’s lifeless form. Outside of the quintessence light, Lotor looked even closer to death than Keith had realized. Stumbling to his feet, Keith yanked Lotor’s body to his chest.

The ship’s ramp hitting the ground was loud in the emptiness and Keith could hear every breath he labored to take. Dragging himself forward, his body felt heavy, as if someone had tied weights to his limbs. Each step caused shocks of pain to radiate through his legs and Keith willed himself to keep moving.

Crashing sideways into the interior wall, Keith shoved himself in the direction of his small bunk. As carefully as possible, he lowered Lotor onto it and then let himself collapse onto the ground.

His mask released when the air was deemed breathable and Keith laid flat on the floor staring at his ceiling. Next to him, Lotor was immobile on the bed and Keith wondered briefly if he had risked his life for a dead man. Unable to connect any coherent thoughts, Keith tried to sit up and found himself dryly retching with the effort. The stabs of sharp lightning in his head made him feel dizzy and he flopped down again to press his cheek to the cool metal floor.

Before he could prevent it, the appeal of sleep overtook him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor finally wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note that this is unbeta'ed so I am doing the best I can and putting up chapters after I go through them :)

Several hours passed in silence. Keith had woken believing everything had been a dream until he saw Lotor’s body draped over his bunk. Scrambling backwards, Keith let his back hit the wall as he stared.

Lotor was dead. His body had been discovered, disfigured and disgusting inside of his own mech. That discovery had led to so much horror and madness, that it was impossible for Keith to believe that it was untrue. If Lotor was alive, if they could have proved that sooner, could they have…

The thoughts were dangerous and Keith tangled his hands into his hair and pulled. What ifs were a luxury and contemplation of them didn’t change his current reality. Driving himself mad over circumstances that were already past was pointless. Angered at himself for even entertaining the thoughts in the first place, Keith shoved himself up from the floor with heated effort.

Instantly, he found himself slumping onto the wall, his body weaker than he gave it credit for being. His legs felt like jelly and his insides sloshed sickeningly as he curled an arm over his stomach. Bracing himself against a supporting beam, he let his head drop forward as he worked to assess his own injuries.

The seams of his suit were undamaged and despite the amount of foreign rock dust scattered across his clothing, it didn’t look any worse for the wear. Earlier signs of pain in his legs had vanished, although the remaining weakness left him concerned as he attempted to stretch and move. His stomach still swam with undeniable unease and briefly Keith tried to recall the last time he had eaten. The responding growl from his core told him that it had been far too long.

Experimentally standing without support from the wall, Keith spared a glance for Lotor. The position Keith had left him in looked uncomfortable. Taking a hesitant step toward the bunk, Keith lifted Lotor’s dangling arm and rested it over his chest. Lotor’s rib cage expanded and contracted with raspy breaths and Keith felt a wash of relief that he wasn’t dead. Not willing to delve any deeper into why that should bring him relief, Keith eyed the complicated clasps and folds which made up Lotor’s outfit. Unable to determine how to remove his boots or any part of his attire, Keith settled for covering Lotor with a blanket and dimming the cabin lights.

Not questioning why he felt the need to make the man comfortable, Keith left Lotor behind to go in search of food. Pausing at the door, Keith looked over his shoulder and wondered exactly what he had gotten himself into. Having no answers for himself, Keith quietly slipped from the room.

* * *

 

The food goo had almost settled in Keith’s stomach when a low groan rumbled from the other room. Snagging a water pouch and another pouch of goo, Keith stealthy moved to the doorway, eyes keenly scanning the room.

Under the blanket Keith had covered him in, Lotor shifted, the flex of his long fingers clenching his biceps looking hard enough to bruise. Carefully, Keith approached him, keeping his distance and waiting until Lotor’s eyes opened to speak.

Shivers ran underneath Lotor’s skin as he tried to process the state of his own body. It felt as if his very cells were quaking and he struggled to hold back the groans rising up in his throat. Every part of him hurt, in a way that was overwhelming and indescribable.

Yet, the pain was different than it had been in the mass of quintessence. Trapped inside the all-enveloping power, pain had been born inside of his mind, spreading through him like a hungry virus. It stung with strength that he couldn’t handle and threatened to rip apart the threads of his being. The insurmountable torture that he had experienced while stuck made the coursing soreness inside of him now seem dull in comparison. His mind was free to think his own thoughts without fighting the images of what could have been. That freedom was a gift even if it was tied with a ribbon of physical pain.

Warring with the heaviness of his own eyelids, Lotor discovered that he lay not on the surface of some unknown planet, but inside of ship crafted from black metal. Confusion sank deep within his mind as he struggled to remember any part of how he got there.

Movement had him jumping, groaning again at the stiffness in his limbs. Protectively, he clutched the blanket around him to his chest, feeling more like a scared child than a once powerful leader. Giving his eyes a moment to focus, Lotor settled his gaze on an unexpected face. “You…”

Narrowing his eyes, Keith took in Lotor’s curled stance. “Me,” he agreed, feeling as uneasy as Lotor looked. Sympathy edged into his heart as he noted Lotor’s wide eyes and the way his fingers shook in the folds of the blanket. Trust wasn’t a possibility between them, but basic decency wasn’t off the table. Tossing the water and food pouches onto the empty spot of bed near Lotor’s hip, Keith sank to the ground.

Fumbling for the rations, Lotor winced as he curled his hands around the nozzle. Time within the quintessence had weakened him as had all his efforts to escape. Wounded, he felt his grip slip around the water he desperately craved.

Fingers brushed his own as they removed the water pouch from his grasp and Lotor glanced down to watch Keith’s face as he twisted it open. With a nod Keith placed the water in Lotor’s hands and then repeated the process with the food pouch, leaning it against Lotor’s thigh before scooting away again. Feeling a rush of gratitude, Lotor sucked down the water as he watched Keith retreat to the other side of the small room.

With the exception of the sound of the pouches crinkling, heavy silence hung between them. They made eye contact sporadically before quickly looking away from each other. Neither of them knew what to say, even though there were a million questions to be asked.

Keith broke the silence, when he let his boots slip forward, his long legs extending to lay flat on the ground. “I thought it was Allura… calling me…” The realization that it wasn’t hit him then and he gritted his teeth together to keep his voice calm. Crying in front of his mother was one thing, but showing weakness in front of Lotor was out of the question.

“You must be disappointed then.” Lotor spoke slowly, testing his voice. His throat burned unpleasantly but he felt less choked than he had while floating in the quintessence. “I would have been, if I were you.” He held his gaze steady when Keith met his eyes, hoping that Keith could see that his feelings were genuine. There was no point in hiding now, his heart, his intentions and everything he had been convinced was right had already been destroyed.

“Confused… mostly…” Folding his hands in his lap, Keith refused to break the eye contact Lotor had established.

Part of him felt like he should be angry. The last time he had seen Lotor alive, he was wielding Sincline and trying to murder Voltron. A louder part was screaming at him in guilt, hearing the echoes of his own voice telling Allura to leave Lotor behind. “She wanted to save you.” The words escaped before Keith could stop them and he watched Lotor’s face fall.

Using the last of his small pool of energy, Lotor pushed the empty food pouches into a receptacle at the end of the bed. Keith’s words were sinking into his heart, pressing on old bruises and making him feel weaker. “I apologize, I am so very tired.” Lying down, Lotor pulled his knees to his chest and closed his eyes, blocking out the world around him.

For a moment, Keith was stunned by the smallness of Lotor’s voice and the way the man curled protectively in on himself. It was easy to recall a time when Keith hid in the same position, tucked underneath his bed in the Home and praying the other kids wouldn’t find him. The dull ache in his heart throbbed with the memory and he pulled himself to a standing position, tapping the lights off as he left the room.

Alone, Lotor let the tears roll down his cheeks.

* * *

 

Strength began to return to Keith’s legs, his body finally evening out after his ill-advised leap to rescue Lotor. Although quintessence was surely the basis of the makeup of Lotor’s captor, there was something more to it that Keith couldn’t place and it was making his mind spin in unending circles.

Out of the glass of the ship’s window, Keith observed the dense wasteland of the planet where they were still parked. In the distance, the tendrils of light still glimmered and Keith could feel the steady draw still tempting him to return to it. Calmly, he rested his hands on the dashboard, eyes flicking over the scrolling screen as his ship continued to collect data.

His mind slipped to Lotor. At his prime, Lotor had been a leader who was confident even if his methods and thoughts were misguided. With his poise, intellect, and skills, Lotor would have made a successful emperor, but he had been blinded by his own goals and they had led him to his downfall.

Axca had spoken of Lotor often, in the way a person would speak of a lost love or an unforgettable heartbreak. Keith hadn’t understood at the time and his advice had been to simply move on. If that conversation had happened now, he would have given the same advice but with greater understanding of the difficulty at following it through.

Recalling what Keith had thought were the final moments of Lotor’s life, his stomach stung with the guilt of his decision to leave Lotor behind. There had been no reason to believe that Lotor could have been saved and Keith understood where his decision had come from. Even though it may have been the best decision at the time, seeing Lotor now, so small and depleted of life made it impossible to ignore that there may have been other options.

Shaking his head, Keith tried to stop himself from dwelling in the past. Too many ghosts and uncertainties haunted his memories and revisiting them wouldn’t help the situation he found himself in now. Telling himself to look ahead and put the past aside, Keith continued to fiddle with the controls of his ship, hoping that all of his diagnostics would bring them some answers.  

* * *

 

Stirring from sleep, Lotor once again found himself trying to reconcile his situation. His dreams were reminiscent of the realities he had witnessed and their remaining presence left him feeling confused and unsure of what was real. The brief conversation with Keith flickered through his mind and he sat up abruptly to scan the room. It was devoid of any movement outside of his own, and Lotor dropped his head against the wall to allow himself a moment to settle.

This was not the inside of a Voltron lion, that much Lotor knew without asking. The ship was small and efficiently crafted reminiscent of the small leisure ships Lotor had observed. There was a single bunk meaning that this ship was created to be piloted alone, a strong indication that Keith was not traveling with any of his Voltron teammates. In fact, the Black Paladin’s demeanor spoke of isolation and sadness, leaving Lotor to contemplate which reality he had been pulled into. There was a suspicion growing in the back of his mind, but he needed more information before solidifying his thoughts.

Untangling his legs from the blanket, Lotor took his time to fold it into a neat square. His armor felt heavy on his exhausted shoulders and he reached up to release the clasps. With a small whine, he slid his shoulder pieces to the ground, reaching to unhook his belt to release the remaining armor. Perhaps it was presumptuous to believe that he wouldn’t need the armor to protect himself, but death had been chasing him from the moment he had taken the controls of Sincline so if it caught him now then so be it. Clad only in his under suit, Lotor finally stood to stretch.

The coolness of the ship’s controlled air felt heavenly on his overheated skin and Lotor rolled his shoulders to relish in the fact that he was standing on solid ground. Everything around him was real and even though he didn’t know exactly where he was, it was better than being bullied by the quintessence. At one time he had craved only the power that quintessence could provide. Now, he wanted to be as far from it as possible.

Dizziness hit him in a crashing wave and Lotor braced a hand on the wall. Being weak was never something he was good at, but his body was sending him distinctive signals to slow down. Sinking back onto bed, he hung his head between his shoulders, not looking up when footsteps approached.

Averting his eyes from the tightness of Lotor’s suit, Keith placed another water pouch with its lid already loosened at Lotor’s side. Stepping away to give him space, Keith crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “I have questions,” he stated, not giving Lotor the opportunity to refuse.

“As do I,” Lotor replied, gratefully taking hold of the water pouch and sucking down the contents. He noticed that the nozzle had already been broken for him and he chanced a small smile at Keith’s scowling face. “I may not have answers.” Feeling slightly revived by the coldness of the water, Lotor lifted his head and scooped his hair out of his face. He forgot what an absolute pain in the ass long hair tended to be and frowned as he attempted to gather the strands.

Bending toward his bag, Keith yanked a ring of elastic ties from the front pocket. Unhooking one, he tossed it toward Lotor. “Here. Courtesy of Earth.” He held up the end of his own braid to display the tie securing it in place.

“Thank you.” Plucking the flexible circle from the bed, Lotor attempted to wrap it around his hair, failing several times before successfully looping it. It served his need to be free of the falling strands and he nodded a second thanks in Keith’s direction before dramatically dropping his arms to his sides. “Where am I?”

The question made Keith scoff for reasons he didn’t understand. He should be cautious and tread lightly with Lotor, but his heart wasn’t in it. “My ship. Not a lion, in case you couldn’t tell. On a grander scale, we’re on an unnamed planet with a giant glowing death hole protruding from one side.” He bit the inside of his cheek when Lotor snickered to prevent himself from smiling. “Where did you come from? The last I knew of you… you were dead…” _And causing your mother to go absolutely insane and try to destroy every reality that ever existed_ , his brain added. Keeping those thoughts to himself, Keith waited for Lotor to answer.

“I don’t know… not really…” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lotor tried to gather his thoughts. “I remember the fight, your Voltron versus my Sincline, and I remember being blasted with quintessence. Thanks for that by the way.” Lifting an eyebrow, Lotor eyed Keith’s stiff form. “But… that reality, my reality, became… broken.” His frown deepened as he straightened his shoulders. “One minute, I was struggling to escape the field. Voltron had vanished and I was thrown to the other side, but I was almost out. Then, I wasn’t a part of anything anymore. I was stuck, but not where you left me.” Rubbing his forehead with both hands, Lotor felt the sharp stab of confusion.

“Broken?” Latching onto the one word, Keith leaned forward. His reality certainly felt broken, torn to pieces in a way that hadn’t made sense to him in over a year. Friends separated, love failing to conquer anything at all, and finding himself alone again were only the beginnings of the cracked building blocks that had made him repeatedly question his own post-war life.

Peering up at Lotor under the curtain of his bangs, Keith felt bad for pushing him when he saw Lotor wincing. “We can… talk later…” Prepared to give Lotor time to recover, Keith reached for a storage cabinet in the wall. “There is a small shower-like room, it’s not much, and you can borrow these.” Throwing a pair of spare sweatpants and a t-shirt onto the bed, Keith shrugged. “If you want.”

Speculatively, Lotor thumbed at the soft fabric of the offered clothing. It was a far cry from the battle armor and royal attire he was used to, but he could feel his body responding to the potential comfort. Gathering the clothing in his arms, he looked where Keith nodded and headed in that direction. “Thank you, Black Paladin,” Lotor addressed him formally, despite the informal way they had been previously interacting.

“Keith… I’m just Keith.” Disappearing around the corner, Keith left Lotor standing alone in the tiny hallway. Unaware of his own shaking hands, Keith strode back to the cockpit, determined to come up with a plan of what to do next.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, breathe, you’re safe. We’re in my ship. You’re Lotor. I’m Keith. You’re safe here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the subsequent chapters went through a little reworking :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the bit of softness in this chapter!

Tension tightened all of Keith’s muscles as he studied the hovering screen in the middle of the cockpit. Data had collected rapidly at first, numbers and lines of information scrolling in an unreadable speed over his control panel. Standing in front of it now, Keith noticed the significant drop in pace and wondered out loud if all of the possible information was close to being gathered. Footsteps behind him made the tension in his shoulders increase, his hands curling into fists as he kept his eyes trained on the screen.

“Unless of course, you want to get closer.” Leaning on the doorframe, Lotor combed his fingers through his wet hair, flinching as he snagged in the knots. The slow turn of Keith’s head and the corresponding eyebrow raise told Lotor that maybe he wasn’t meant to hear the question and was definitely not meant to answer it.

Pretending to act aloof, he determinedly remained calm when Keith’s eyes raked over his body, knowing that the clothing Keith had lent him was just on the wrong side of too big. Once he had been proud of his form, muscle and leanness earned through hard training, but his body was weaker now and the shape he once took for granted was no longer his to pride over.

“Get closer?” Keith’s brain tried to reason beyond whatever his body was doing in reaction to Lotor wearing his clothes. Frustrated with himself, Keith narrowed his attention to the data in front of him.

Taking a few steps into the room, Lotor stopped next to the pilot’s chair. Studying Keith from behind, he contemplated the Black Paladin’s origin. Realizing he hadn’t spoken a response when Keith made a follow up hum, he snapped himself out of his thoughts. “Ah, yes. Closer to the mass, I mean. To see if any other information can be assembled.” The thought made his stomach roll, but he kept his face neutral.

Alarm bells sounded in Keith’s mind, reminding him why Lotor had been a threat in the first place. “What are you going to do? Shove me in there again and take my ship?” He told himself that he didn’t see the hurt flicker over Lotor’s face.

“My past actions mean I don’t deserve your trust.” Keeping his emotions even, Lotor rested his hand on the arm of the pilot’s seat. “You saved my life, Keith. Whatever I caused, I know that I cannot make up for it. But I will not harm you. It’s the least I can do.” He smiled when the tension in Keith’s shoulders released slightly. “If you… tell me what happened. Maybe I can understand.”

“I-” A shrill beep from his communication alert interrupted Keith’s response. Seeing the name blinking above the button, Keith jammed it to refuse the call. The last thing he needed was to explain any part of this to anyone who wouldn’t take the time to understand.

Closing his eyes, Keith tried to ignore the feeling of Lotor watching him. “I just want to get off of this planet and away from that thing.” Idly waving his hand, Keith didn’t look back. It wasn’t entirely the truth, but Keith couldn’t bring himself to delve further into the thoughts that wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Understood.” Stepping backwards, Lotor gave Keith space. “I will let you do what you need to do then. Let me know if I can be of help.” With a last glance, Lotor left the cockpit.

For reasons he didn’t understand, Lotor felt hurt. It was true that Keith had absolutely no reason to trust him, and even knowing and understanding this fact, Lotor couldn’t help the disappointment settling within him.

Once, he had thought he had found his place, but then his father had destroyed it. Then there was the team he had formed with his generals, but in the end they had turned on him too. Or he had turned on them. Either way, he had lost them. Allura had been another lifeline, but he had crushed that connection as well. It was naïve to hope that escaping the quintessence had given him another chance and perhaps a kindred spirit who could understand the pain of perpetual loneliness. His mind told him maybe he should have let himself die.

With that heavy thought, Lotor found himself curling back into the bunk to hide under the blanket that smelled like his savior.

* * *

 

In hindsight, it was Keith’s biggest mistake to let Lotor’s suggestion of moving closer to the quintessence linger so long in the back of his mind. All of the data he was gathering related more to the tiny planet around them than to the powerful mass of temptation resting inside of it. While that information was valuable in charting and categorizing the planet, it wasn’t nearly as important as potentially diagnosing the most dangerous part of the planet’s existence.

Although Keith couldn’t prove it yet, he knew that quintessence wasn’t the only power being harbored in the planet’s crater. Quintessence had been only a portion of what had called him here, but it didn’t alone have the ability to show the flashes of images Keith had experienced once inside of it. The cause of those was still unknown and the not knowing was leaving a heavy weight in Keith’s stomach.

If Keith failed to collect information on the mass or potentially discover a way to destroy it, he knew eventually someone else would find it. Someone who may not take the time to understand the dangers of playing with unknowns. There was no guarantee that any being who discovered it wouldn’t manipulate its uses and that thought alone had Keith plunging into calculations.

In the back of his mind, where the whispers danced among the memories of the past, Keith knew there was more to it. Lotor had reached out to him, but Keith had been convinced it was Allura. The thought that she could still be out there, that this thing could be the answer to brining her back, buzzed in Keith’s mind like a nagging insect.

Inhaling deeply, Keith told himself to keep his hope in check. Hope hadn’t served him over the last year and a half and there was no use in letting it cloud the reasonable thoughts needed to practically approach the issue at hand. Forcing his mind back to his task, Keith blocked out any thoughts that didn’t pertain to drafting his potential plan.

* * *

 

After another round of fitful sleep, Lotor resigned himself to being awake. Reality seemed overwhelming, despite the fact that his companion was stoically quiet and the ship’s hum was nothing more than white noise. His dreams, however, brought him more confusion and pain and left his mind and body feeling weaker with each nightmare.

Unsure of what to do with himself, he gravitated toward the cockpit discovering Keith hunched over in the pilot chair, a data pad resting on his knee and his brows furrowed tightly. Floating on the screen above him were complicated equations and ship schematics complete with a diagram of the planet beneath them. Feeling the sickness rising inside of him, Lotor cleared his throat to announce his presence. Keith grunted in response.

“I apologize for continuing to take over your sleeping quarters. I can sleep on the floor or stand watch if you would like to get some rest.” Politeness was an ingrained quality and Lotor’s first reaction to his own growing awkwardness. He was an uninvited guest in the small ship and he was unsure how close he was to ending up abandoned again.

“You need the rest.” Gruffly, Keith sat up straighter in his chair. “I’m not the one who was battling for my life. I gave that up a year ago.” The bitterness he heard in his words surprised him, making Keith frown deeper at the problems in front of him. “Plus… I have work to do.” Not looking at Lotor, Keith missed the realization as it hit him.

Unconsciously, Lotor wrapped his fingers around Keith’s wrist and squeezed. “You’re going to do it.” His thought whispered out of him, a mixture of shock and horror weaving into every word.

The idea of returning, even just being closer than they already were, was making Lotor shake with fear. Regret sank into his stomach, anger with himself for making the suggestion boiling into a sour taste in his mouth. His body felt cold, the shiver echoing down his spine and his muscles tensing as the images from his dreams came crashing back. Weight crushed his chest, shoving all the air from his lungs and making every breath burn with terror. Unconsciously, his fingers curled tighter trying to find an anchor in the physical world to prevent himself from being swept away.

Fingers tightened around Keith’s arm drawing his attention from all of the notes in front of him. Seeing Lotor’s panicked face, Keith scrambled to his feet, tossing his data pad aside. He remembered the look of an anxiety attack when it had graced another face and automatically went into protective mode. Grabbing Lotor’s arms, Keith bent until he could look into Lotor’s eyes and began to speak softly.  

“Hey, breathe, you’re safe. We’re in my ship. You’re Lotor. I’m Keith. You’re safe here.” Repeating the small sentences in a loop, Keith rubbed his thumbs in small circles on Lotor’s arms. Training his eyes on Lotor’s pupils, Keith finally saw them begin to shrink as Lotor’s body vibrated beneath his hands.

Collapsing forward, Lotor clawed his way into Keith’s arms, ignoring the fact that he was completely vulnerable in this position. No one had ever cared to offer him comfort and he felt weak to the draw of Keith’s kindness. His mind felt torn between the theoretical and the real, but the strength of Keith’s body holding his weight was enough to bring him back. Resting his head on Keith’s shoulder, Lotor closed his eyes in shame.

Feeling awkward, Keith hesitated. His reaction had been instinctual, born from years of helping Shiro through the worst of his flashbacks and nightmares. Coming to Lotor’s aid had been his natural reaction, but now that Lotor was calm again, Keith had no idea what to do. Easing his hold on Lotor’s arms, Keith slid them tentatively around his back and patted him softly.

They stood in the middle of the cockpit, Lotor’s hands clenching and unclenching at the small of Keith’s back, his breaths raggedly ghosting over Keith’s neck. Trying to hide his own weirdness, Keith continued to rub Lotor’s back gently. He was trying to put together something to say when he felt Lotor jerk against him.

“I’m sorry.” Shoving Keith backwards, Lotor processed what had just happened. “This was… odd… of me… I’ll go…” Yanking his hands away from Keith’s body, Lotor moved backwards through the door. His body tingled in all the places when Keith had touched him and Lotor stumbled as he tried to shake the feeling from his skin.

Desperately, Lotor searched for an exit that wouldn’t lead to certain death. He didn’t know where he could hide in the small ship, but he was determined to find a place. Fleeing without another word, his last image was Keith standing with red cheeks in the middle of the cockpit.

“What the quiznak…” Trying to understand any part of the last five minutes, Keith found himself flustered and confused. Although he had grown at least slightly more comfortable with physical touch, there had only ever been one person whose touch had the same effect on him. And that person was across the galaxy in the arms of someone else.

Refusing to concentrate on any of the possibilities his mind wanted to suggest, Keith threw himself back into his work, determined to remain in the cockpit until he could devise a viable plan.

In the back of his mind, however, he couldn’t stop thinking about Lotor’s terrified face and the way Lotor’s body had felt against his own.

* * *

 

Time passing seemed irrelevant on the small planet as there was no sunlight to speak of. Any lit surface was the product of the radiating light from the quintessence, leaving the ship and its current residents to the mercy of its own interior lighting. Losing track of time was far too easy and Keith was startled when he realized how much he had lost.

Cracking his back as he stretched, Keith shoved his data pad aside and felt the distinct desire to give up. It was impossible to concentrate when his rational thoughts kept getting interrupted with the demanding beckoning of the quintessence. He needed to learn how to control his connection and there was only one person left who could help him.

Heading for the cabin, Keith balked when he discovered it empty. Even with Lotor’s Altean and Galra genes, he wouldn’t be able to breathe the air on this planet and for a moment, Keith panicked that Lotor had decided to throw himself from the ship into the hands of death. Spying the open hatch to the mechanics chamber, Keith gave a sigh of relief.

Rummaging in one of his storage crates, Keith unearthed a bottle of tequila that Lance had shoved into his hand on the day of Shiro’s wedding. He hadn’t drank it then, scared of what would happen if he let his inhibitions slip even for a moment, but Keith had carried it with him in case of an emergency. Bonding with a guy who once tried to kill him and all of his teammates seemed like a valid time to make use of it. Snagging two cups of relative cleanliness, Keith dismounted the ladder in the center of the room.

Hearing the footsteps, Lotor tried to pull himself together, swiping a hand over his face. Since childhood, he never allowed anyone to see him cry, knowing how much everyone disapproved of the action. His moment of weakness earlier had loosened all of the knots in his brain and he had hidden himself away to keep Keith from seeing him like this.

 _Leave it to Keith to find him anyway_ , he supposed. The Black Paladin had a reputation for being fiercely determined and Lotor supposed Keith’s rescue of Lotor himself merely proved this trait to be true. Wondering why the thought made his heart feel lighter in his chest, Lotor turned his head to watch Keith cross the platform.

Raising the bottle and glasses in his hands, Keith tried to smile. “I come bearing another gift from Earth.” Picking his way over the metal platform, Keith settled himself with his back against the opposite wall, close enough to share the bottle between them. Unscrewing the top, Keith poured liquid into both glasses, prepared to do anything needed to get some answers.

Ducking his head to avoid making eye contact, Lotor accepted the glass offered to him and sniffed the contents. “Are you trying to poison me?” Lifting an eyebrow in Keith’s direction, the other joined it in Lotor’s hairline when Keith downed his entire glass. He couldn’t help his slight smile when Keith sputtered. “Alright, so not poison, but not particularly good.” Deciding that he couldn’t care less about potential death, Lotor copied Keith’s move and dumped the drink down his throat.

Keith unintentionally barked out a laugh when Lotor began to cough, hand flying up to cover his mouth. Tequila had a special sort of burn to it and although Keith had faltered on his first drink, he knew by the second, his throat would be numb enough not to notice. Numb was what he was going for, so he tipped the bottle to fill his glass again.

Reluctantly, Lotor held his glass toward Keith to accept a refill. This time, he took a sip over the lip of the glass and found the taste much easier to handle. Sipping slowly, he finally raised his eyes to meet Keith’s curious stare. He found himself fidgeting, sipping at his drink again for something to do.

“Do you hear it?” Keith wasn’t sure why these were the words his brain had chosen to send out of his mouth, but he leaned into them anyway. Bringing his knees up to provide a place for his elbows to rest, Keith fiddled with his glass. “Here, now, can you hear it calling to you?”

Shrinking back, Lotor let his shoulders sag, his back once again resting against the wall. The lump in his throat wouldn’t allow him to speak so instead he nodded, watching closely for Keith’s reaction. “I didn’t… I… Not since…” Being so ineloquent felt like a violation to his own carefully crafted character and Lotor bit his tongue to stop his further stumbling over his own thoughts.

“It’s not normal then.” It was a statement and not a question, Keith’s patented way of both asking for confirmation and forcing himself to accept the answer simultaneously. Another nod from Lotor spurred Keith to drink again. Snagging the bottle, he ignored the way the world was already starting to go a little fuzzy and poured more liquid into his empty cup.

Studying Keith, Lotor tried to take a guess where this conversation was heading. Coming up with nothing, Lotor let his eyes fall shut as he angled his face toward the ceiling. “It is rare more than it is abnormal. Druids can feel it. Allura could. So maybe… somewhere in your lineage… you have some Altean hiding.” Without opening his eyes, Lotor drank again, finishing every drop and holding his cup out for more. “You should ask your parents.” A gruff snort had Lotor opening one eye.

Looking away, Keith tried to imagine that conversation with his mother. Despite their initial closeness, their relationship had been oddly formal over the last few months, with the exception of right before he left. Shaking his head, he dispelled the thought from his mind.

“You said…” Lotor wasn’t sure what Keith was leading up to, but he had questions of his own that wouldn’t vanish from his mind. “You… thought… I was Allura. Does that mean…” Trailing off, he saw the flinch in Keith’s jaw.

“Allura is dead.” Saying the words out loud made Keith’s chest burn, his eyes pinching closed to prevent any tears from springing to them. Behind his eyelids, the memory of Allura’s final moments flashed, making his stomach churn. With an unpreventable whimper, Keith slowly opened his eyes. The sadness he found on Lotor's face ripped through his heart.

“Why…” Lotor asked, searching Keith’s eyes for answers. He didn’t want to know how or when, but he simply needed to know what kind of cruel world would demand Allura’s death after everything else she had suffered. His silence pleaded with Keith for answers, but when Keith dropped his head, Lotor knew he wasn’t ready.

Keith didn’t have the strength to retell the story. The other paladins and Shiro had forced him to return to celebrate Allura’s sacrifice and intended to force the same celebration for every year of the rest of their lives. It was morbid and Keith had to tell himself to smile and act normal throughout the entire torturous meal. The others’ attitudes hadn’t made sense then, and they still didn’t make sense now, leaving Keith feeling like the only one who understood that their world wasn’t right.

Setting his cup on the ground, Keith gripped his thighs. During his silence, Lotor’s gaze had turned to a mournful stare in the bottom of his cup. “You really loved her.” The realization struck Keith like a knife to the heart, understanding better now than ever how complicated love could be.

“I did.” Swallowing hard, Lotor refused to look up. “I’m not confident… even now… that I know what love is, but Allura… she was the closest I ever came to finding out. Yet…” There were so many excuses dancing on the tip of his tongue, words to express his sorrow for his actions and beg Keith for the slightest understanding or forgiveness. All of them died when he saw the reflection of his own heartache in Keith’s eyes. “You loved him… my father’s Champion. Your Shiro.”

“Not mine.” Keith answered, realizing that the defensive quip told more than he intended. Looking away from Lotor’s intense gaze, Keith tried to keep his cheeks from flushing.

“Love then. Not in the past tense.” The redness flushed quickly over Keith’s face and made Lotor feel unexplainably alone again. “Love is for fools, I believe. Madness that only ends in heartbreak.” It was a thought he had since childhood, seeing the corruption of the emotion by the very beings who had brought him into this universe. Offering a small smirk when Keith glanced at him, Lotor shrugged. “Is it for her or for him that you want to know what’s in there?” He didn’t have to specify where he meant, they both already knew.

“Her,” Keith answered without hesitation. It had been his fault that their world had fallen and his fault that Allura had died. This he knew without question. “That thing could be dangerous, or is dangerous, but we have to know what it is.” Even though he didn’t say, Keith could see Lotor’s understanding of the other possibilities at stake in the set of his jaw and Lotor’s quick nod of agreement. “I won’t make you-” Keith’s promise to not compromise Lotor’s mental health was interrupted when Lotor raised a hand.

“I’ve committed so many errors. So many times I did what I thought was right only to be wrong. If this is for her, I will do anything you ask of me.” Lotor watched Keith closely as Keith stood, his hand extending out to Lotor. Accepting it, Lotor allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, feeling only slightly unsteady from whatever Keith had been giving him to drink.

Steadying Lotor with a hand on his shoulder, Keith tried to ignore the haze in his own mind. If Lotor was going to be a willing participant in whatever came next, Keith would be grateful for the partner in solving the mysteries that lay ahead. Dropping his hand, he offered it to Lotor again and smiled slightly wider when Lotor shook it. “Let’s get to work then.” Bending, he snagged the forgotten bottle of tequila and turned toward the ladder.

With Keith in the lead, bottle swinging from his hand, they headed back to the cockpit to begin their first endeavor as partners.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let's go"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THIS STORY IS BACK! 
> 
> I won't bore you with my real life crap, but I do apologize for not getting the completion of this story posted. I was down to the use of one arm for well over a month, which shot down any possibility of being able to tackle and edit a story with as much emotion as contained in this one. While there is certainly hope laced into every remaining chapter, there is also heart ache and hurt that I wasn't ready to reread and edit during my own struggles. 
> 
> The good news is, I am back now and ready to rock and roll. I truly hope you will enjoy the rest of this story and I appreciated anyone who has read it (or starts to read it)! Your support means the world! 
> 
> Without further delay, here comes Chapter 5 :)

Time passed quietly on the ship. Neither he nor Keith were particularly loud individuals and neither of them seemed to possess the need to fill their silence with pointless words. Working side-by-side grew easier, their ability to anticipate each other’s thoughts became more instinctual, and their partnership was an unacknowledged comfort akin to friendship. They ate together as well, sometimes the grossness of food goo and sometimes whatever Keith managed to put together on the small stove. During these moments away from their calculations and estimations, they took time to learn smaller tidbits about each other. Keith gave Lotor a feeling of safety that he couldn’t understand or categorize, but he welcomed anyway.

Studying Keith became Lotor’s preferred pastime. Noting the nuances of the once mysterious Black Paladin kept his mind from running idle, but also helped him build a better understanding of the quiet, determined man whose space Lotor was unexpectedly sharing. The furrow in Keith’s brow which accompanied a scowl when Keith ran into a snag with his train of thought often distracted Lotor from his own thoughts with the intensity of the look. Similarly, the rareness of Keith’s smile and even more his laugh, left Lotor feeling dizzy from simple pleasure of signs that Keith wasn’t completely unhappy in their situation. Times when Lotor found himself enamored with Keith’s frustrated pacing and hushed mutterings left Lotor questioning his own sanity.

Then there were Keith’s quirks. Whenever Keith cooked a meal more complicated than opening a pouch, he would hum a tune that Lotor didn’t recognize. Simple mannerisms like the way Keith rolled his eyes at a bad attempt at a joke or the way he spoke with his hands when excited were now parts of Keith that Lotor knew better than his own pieces.

But more than all of the actions, quirks, and facial expressions, it was the way Keith _cared_ that had Lotor’s heart constantly twisting in his chest. And he did so, offhandedly almost casually, as if caring for Lotor wasn’t a requirement or even a burden.

None of Keith’s ways of kindness were loud either, they were subtle and would have been easy to miss if Lotor had ever experienced anything like it before. Keith always put more food on Lotor’s plate than on his own and he always offered to change the ship’s temperature and lighting to make Lotor more comfortable. Whenever he approached the subject of the quintessence, Keith always did so while watching Lotor intently, as if he was constantly gauging Lotor’s reactions. Then there was self-sacrificing way that Keith refused to claim the bed from Lotor’s use, opting to instead curl up in the pilot’s chair when exhaustion finally gave him no choice. All of it made Lotor feel guilty and cared for in equal measure. Never had Lotor felt so accommodated, and never had he felt so unworthy of the consideration. 

Laying back on the small bed, Lotor stared up at the calendar which hovered in soft purple light on the ceiling. Although he rarely commented on their dwindling supplies or the cycles of the ship’s lights, Lotor noted that Keith tracked time based on the passing of days on Earth. He had attempted to ask during their third earth day why Keith hadn’t switched his way of thinking and had received nothing beyond a dismissive shrug of Keith’s shoulder. Lotor had his suspicions about Keith’s reason, but his stomach felt sour every time they crept into his mind.

No matter how much kindness Keith showed him, Lotor knew he was never the reason Keith was here. He watched another day fade as the clock reset itself, eyes focusing as another tally line appeared among the hundreds of other lines before it. The lines were silver and if Lotor’s eyes didn’t blur every time he tried to count them, he would have memorized the number several times over by now. He wanted to know what Keith was keeping track of, yet he couldn’t find the strength to ask. Lifting a finger toward the calendar he traced the rows of lines, trying to subdue his mind and lure himself to sleep.

“What are you doing?” Standing in the doorway, Keith crossed his arms over his chest, setting his jaw waiting for the question he would refuse to answer. He had set the tracker on the worst day of his life as a reminder of how many days he had survived since and seeing the amount of tallies now marring the side of his calendar made his chest tighten.

Flickering his gaze down to Lotor’s face, admiring the way his skin was highlighted by the low lights of the cabin, Keith forced himself to meet Lotor’s contemplative stare.

“Can’t sleep,” Lotor answered. The questions swam on the tip of his tongue, but Lotor pushed them away as he sat up. “You?” Crossing his legs on the bed, Lotor patted the empty space next to him taking a chance that Keith wouldn’t immediately retreat to the distance of the cockpit.

Hesitation danced like battered moths in Keith’s stomach. Telling himself the closeness wasn’t a big deal, Keith forced his feet to move, shoving his boots off before easing himself onto the bed. Shrugging, Keith turned his gaze to the calendar he hadn’t looked at since Lotor had awakened on his ship. “Sometimes… the whispers are so loud…” Rubbing the heel of his hand against his forehead, Keith felt the soreness ring through his brain. Wincing, he rotated to rest his cheek on his bent knee. “Doesn’t it get to you?”

“Mhmm, but… it doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to bother you.” The way Keith’s hair draped in strands over his face made Lotor want to brush it away so he fisted his hands in his lap. “For so long, those whispers were the only reminder that I wasn’t alone… that there was something out there that wanted my attention…” Shaking his head, Lotor ran a hand through his hair. “You wouldn’t understand. You weren’t ignored in favor of your parents’ quest for ultimate power.” A small catch in Keith’s breathing had Lotor shifting his gaze to Keith’s face.

Emotion sat heavy in the base of Keith’s throat, sympathy and empathy colliding in his chest for the defeated man at his side. He had warred with himself about telling Lotor the truth about his mother, not knowing whether it was better to know what happened or to forever let Lotor believe she hadn’t loved him. Keith remembered the relief he felt in discovering his own family’s truths, but he wasn’t sure that the story of Haggar’s destruction would bring the same result.

Quietly, Keith picked at the seam of his sock. His mind settled on a thought and he bit his lip to find his words. “You know, my mom… she’s Galra… a Blade actually. But my dad…” pausing Keith clinched his jaw to try and steady himself. “My dad was human. He died fighting a fire on earth, determined to save everyone in that house and forgetting that he had a son with no one else in the world.”

There was no way to avoid the tears that were building. As cowardly as it was, Keith had been relieved when the quantum abyss had shown his mother all of his childhood stories, sparring Keith the task of doing so. Only one other person had ever heard Keith talk about his father’s death. Only one person knew that while Keith’s father would forever be his hero, he had also broken Keith’s heart in ways that couldn’t be mended.

“I grew up, first in foster care although no family ever kept me, and then at a group home… no one liked me and I didn’t like anyone. My determination to never rely on anyone was born the day I lost my dad.” He had no idea why he was sharing any of this, but he couldn’t stop the words from coming. “My mom left us on earth to protect the Blue Lion from your father… and I guess your mother too… I didn’t find her until a couple of years ago.”

“I’m sorry.” The apology whispered from Lotor’s lips, the guilt crushing his chest over another life ruined by his own family’s greed. “They were horrible. They brought me into this world, only to punish me for existing. Casting me aside, destroying anything that ever brought me happiness, and then doing the same horrible things to every planet and every person they ever met. When I was young, my nanny tried to tell me how much they loved each other, how much they loved me, but it was all a lie. All of it. They only ever loved quintessence and power and all that other bullshit. And I bought into it and I hurt you and the paladins and so many others and I-” A sob stopped Lotor’s words, tears he hated to shed ran down his cheeks, his heart breaking and bleeding in his chest in a way that felt fatal.

Reaching an arm around Lotor’s shoulders, Keith pulled Lotor into his chest, letting him cry broken tears into Keith’s shoulder. It should have been weird, but all Keith felt was the need to hold Lotor as he shook.

He couldn’t tell Lotor it was okay, and Keith didn’t have the right to accept or deny Lotor’s apology. In truth, Lotor had committed a litany of his own crimes. He had betrayed Allura and all of Keith’s friends. This was a fact that Keith had only ever seen in black and white terms, Lotor had been wrong and that was the end of the story. For the first time though, Keith realized the vast nature of the gray area he had completely disregarded.

Curling his arms tighter around Lotor’s back, Keith shifted to lay down on the bed, cradling Lotor to his chest. It was another familiar position, a ghost from his past of laying with the weight of someone else crushing him, acting as an anchor in the middle of an emotional storm. The memory stung, but the present feeling of Lotor calming in his arms was slowly taking over the sting of the past.

In the quiet, Keith felt the familiar nudges pushing at his mind again, the same whispers that wanted to invade of all of his thoughts. They were mixed this time, with his own circular mindscape about what Lotor did and didn’t need to know. Would telling him what Haggar had done help? Or would it only hurt Lotor more than was fair? Keith didn’t know the right answer and had no one to go to for advice. Left without anything else to say, he simply held Lotor closer.

Sighing, Lotor relinquished his resistance to Keith’s support, letting his body loose of its tension while resting heavier on Keith’s chest. Being held was not a concept Lotor was familiar with, but the position was not as awkward as it should have been. Instead, Lotor felt the years of need for this exact feeling rising up within him. Tucking his hands beneath Keith’s shoulder blades, Lotor felt the last of his tears slip silently over his cheeks as his eyes fluttered shut.

Sleep came for both of them, leaving their conversation unfinished and emotions hanging precariously in the air around them. Waking could potentially be awkward, but as the last of his consciousness determinedly slipped away, Keith felt his desire to care going with it. Awkwardness and potential regret could be a tomorrow problem, tonight Keith was willing to accept the weight of Lotor against him and the warmth he never thought he would feel again.

Underneath his cheek, Lotor listened to the steady beat of Keith’s heart, welcoming the reassuring rhythm that willingly lured Lotor into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

Waking up alone was to be expected, but Keith hadn’t expected the feeling of emptiness that came with it. Familiarity was truly a bitch. Too many memories of falling asleep with a crying Shiro only to discover his bed cold and empty in the morning swam to the forefront of Keith’s mind, causing him to angrily wipe his hands over his face. He was destined to always be that person, the one who was willing to take chances only sparingly and was punished for the decision every single time. Feeling the disgruntle bitterness welling inside of him, Keith almost missed the sound of footsteps approaching the bed.

“You’re up.” Lotor sat gently on the edge of the bed, head tilted to examine the frown he discovered on Keith’s face. If his hands hadn’t been holding the makeshift tray, he was positive he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from trying to smooth the sadness away. “I… um…” Stuttering, Lotor shook his head, still lacking any understanding of why he seemed to lose his composure in Keith’s presence. Giving himself a moment, Lotor laid the tray on his lap and wrapped his fingers around the weird metal mug he had seen Keith drink from so often.

“I may have screwed this up… but I tried to make this… liquid you drink.” Lifting the cup, Lotor felt a thrill of pleasure when Keith’s eyes went wide. “It smells like fuel of some sort… perhaps it is fuel that humans run on?” He handed the cup to Keith, smiling when Keith snorted. Staring at the bowl in the middle of the tray, Lotor’s humor faltered. “I also tried to make this… what did you call it? Oat me-all?” Even more unsure about the lumpy mess he had created, Lotor nudged the bowl closer to Keith. It didn’t look nearly as appetizing as Keith’s usual version and Lotor smiled sheepishly in Keith’s direction. “You don’t have to eat it… if it’s bad.”

The first sip of Lotor’s coffee had Keith’s hair standing on end. He was known for drinking strong coffee, always black with no sugary frills, but Lotor’s coffee was so strong it was like a caffeine injection straight into Keith’s brain. Unwilling to dash the hopeful look on Lotor’s face, Keith took another sip and prayed to the caffeine gods for his own survival.

At the wavering confidence in Lotor’s words, Keith glanced down at the lumpiest bowl of oatmeal he had ever seen. His dad had been a serviceable cook, Shiro had been a disaster, but Hunk had been a driving force in Keith’s education beyond his less than stellar early life examples. Just by looking at the bowl, Keith could tell that there would be crunchy lumps in his breakfast, but the uncertain smile on Lotor’s face made Keith eager to eat it anyway. Carefully tucking his coffee in between his folded legs, Keith lifted the bowl and spooned his first bite into his mouth.

“It’s really good,” he said, swallowing the lump of dry oatmeal hidden within the squishy bite. “All of it. This was nice of you… you didn’t have to…” Being taken care of was beyond Keith’s understanding. He was used to do the caring, not so much at being on the receiving end of it. “Did you have breakfast?” From the moment he had pulled Lotor from the shimmering ball of danger, Keith had been worried about Lotor’s level of weakness which had led him to overfeeding Lotor at every chance.

Frozen from Keith’s compliment, Lotor took a second to realize the question he had been asked. “Oh!” he said, standing abruptly. “I’ll… I’ll go get mine… Do you need anything else?” Fidgeting with the slab of light metal in his hands, Lotor looked anywhere but Keith. The butterflies having an unexplained party in his stomach made him smile nervously at the ground.

“Company would be good,” Keith commented, waving his spoon. Eating meals with Lotor had become an odd staple in Keith’s days and it felt weird to be eating alone. Scooting in a circle on the bed, Keith awkwardly smiled while tilting his head to his right. “Saved you a seat.” He told himself he was only bantering with Lotor to make Lotor feel more comfortable.

“Alright then,” Lotor grinned. He felt pleased in a way that was almost uncharacteristic, but he didn’t care. With one last look over his shoulder, he headed for the tiny kitchen to retrieve his own breakfast.

Humming to himself as he took another bite of oatmeal, Keith refused to allow the self-aware parts of his mind to tell him why exactly he was so happy with lumpy oatmeal and sludge-adjacent coffee.

* * *

 

Standing shoulder-to-shoulder over the controls of the ship, Lotor turned to face Keith with a frustrated scowl. They had been arguing for the better part of an hour and Lotor was about at his wit’s end with Keith’s stubbornness.

Keith was, in Lotor’s opinion, overly concerned about the potential risk to the structure of his ship. As far as Lotor could tell there was no immediate damage to any inanimate object that surrounded the unknown mass. None of the scans Keith ran discovered a gravitational force of any kind and as time slipped by, Lotor wondered if Keith was merely stalling for reasons he hadn’t voiced out loud.

Pressing this issue had started the fight they were currently having, subtle at first and then growing in volume and intensity. Lotor believed that they should move closer, run the scans again, but that before the end of the day’s light cycle, one of them should approach the mass on foot. It had been his throw away statement about caring which one of them it was that had finally snapped Keith’s lid.

“You’re not going anywhere near that thing,” Keith growled. He could feel the sharpness of his claws extending against his palm, a sign that his temper was about to get the best of him. In the past he had let his arguments be led by his passion, willing to fling his arms and shout whenever needed to get his point across (especially if Lance was involved). For Lotor’s sake, he was trying to stay calm, but threats of Lotor’s return to the captor he had barely escaped made Keith’s eyes slit the world into narrow yellow.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lotor leaned a hip onto the control panel and stared Keith down. The Galra side was certainly showing and Lotor had to force himself to remain in the moment, and not be distracted by how attractively powerful Keith looked while angry. “I will remind you that you are not in charge of me.” The flinch in Keith’s jaw had Lotor raising his own.

“No, I’m not,” Keith admitted, though the grit in his teeth made it difficult to do so without hissing. “But I did just risk my life to save you, and I would prefer that you stay here… safe… and not being attacked by that thing that wanted to… oh I don’t know… _kill you_.” Now his hands were in the air, a frustrated wave which accompanied Keith’s growled argument.

“Why do you even care?” The question was mean, and unintentional, and certainly a thought that Lotor had kept to himself for every second since Keith had appeared to save him. Regretting asking it out loud as soon as he saw Keith’s face fall, Lotor dropped his arms and stepped back.

“Never mind,” he dismissed, turning to face toward the window again. “I say we stop stalling,” using _we_ was an olive branch that Lotor felt necessary after his inappropriate question. “I will stay on the ship, monitor the incoming data and your vitals if you want to be the one to approach. On the condition that you provide me with a suit, not with the intention to wear it unless it is an emergency.” Not looking at Keith, Lotor set his hard stare on the glowing light that was still chasing his mind. “I don’t intend to let you die either.”

Closing his eyes, Keith took a shaky breath while uncurling his fists. Part of him wanted to shout at Lotor, to admit that he had no idea why he cared or why Lotor’s safety mattered. The smarter part of him told him that he did know why, but he was scared to even glance in the direction of the answer because his heart couldn’t take it. He had sworn off this type of emotion over a year ago, telling himself that he would never let it happen to him again. Therefore, silence, repression and forced ignorance were his only choices.

“I don’t want to die, but I do want answers.” Facing in the same direction as Lotor, Keith felt their shoulders touch and held himself still. “I just don’t want to hurt you to get them.”

There. It was said. The thought that Keith kept returning to every time he realized that they couldn’t stay on their same path if they wanted to get the answers they needed. He had realized days ago that his ship wouldn’t be in danger, the only danger of getting closer was to his sanity and the sanity of the man he wanted to protect. Stealing himself for another round of fighting, Keith startled when a hand wrapped around his bicep and squeezed.

“Thank you.” They were the only two words Lotor could form at the moment, his mind and heart a jumbled mess as he studied the side of Keith’s face. “I don’t need you to protect me though, at least not one-sidedly. We can do this together, protect _each other_ … then maybe… we can get what you came for.”

Resolve and determination radiated from Lotor, leaving Keith both reassured and terrified. There were no longer any excuses to use to avoid moving forward. The last of his reasons to stall had been vanquished in a few quiet words, and several long minutes of shouting. Nothing, but himself, could stop them from proceeding and Keith’s stomach clenched at the thought of it.

The mass in front of them was still unknown, it’s powers and it’s capabilities a complete mystery. While that remained true, so could Keith’s hope that there was a way to bring Allura back and a way to fix the world that he allowed to fall apart. There was a chance that everything that felt wrong could be put back into place. He wasn’t sure that he was ready to find out if it was truly possible.

A deeper part of him, housed in the depths of his heart and the hidden parts of his mind, questioned if he still wanted any of that.

Pushing the turmoil of thoughts away, Keith straightened his back, feeling the loss of Lotor’s hand when it fell away from his arm. Closing his eyes again, Keith focused his thoughts, letting the whispers swirl into an all-encompassing tornado in his mind. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and trained them on the glowing mystery towering in front of them. Preparing himself for this was impossible so Keith handled it the only way he knew how, by jumping in head first. Nodding his head once, he said the only two words needed to confirm his defeat.

“Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Normally I am a Sheith writer, so if you have any interest in that pairing, please consider checking out any of my other fics!   
> [A Wild Bearded Shiro Appears](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054420) \- Shiro participates in No Shave November. RIP Keith (college roommates AU)  
> [Unwritten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15583593/chapters/36179688) a Sheith fic about Author Keith and Fanboy Shiro, filled with mutual pining and reuniting of childhood friends :) - complete  
> [A Week For Us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17261003/chapters/40591424) \- married Sheith celebrate the five year anniversary of their engagement, with a little surprise in the form of a very tiny new family member  
> [Mine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16302947) \- a one-shot of married Sheith getting jealous at a party and solving it with sexy times  
> [Where We Belong](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15730515) \- fluffy post Season 7 Domestic Sheith escaping for a weekend away to Keith's old shack  
> [Our Space](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574111) \- Domestic Sheith one-shot in which Shiro decorates their room  
> [It Only Took a Hurricane](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227133) \- a completed Lifeguard AU (best friends to lovers)  
> [Disaster You, Disaster Me, Disaster We](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16513202/chapters/38678120) \- a Sheith blind date AU with a twist  
> [Come on Baby, Frost My Cake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16829314) \- a Sheith set up fic at Hunk's Singles Cake Decorating class (shenanigans ensure)  
> [No Secrets Between Us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860900) \- silly crack fic about the team finding out that Sheith are dating


End file.
